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You are here: Home / Blogging How-To / The Mystery of the Disappearing Emails, or How NOT to Use Gmail

The Mystery of the Disappearing Emails, or How NOT to Use Gmail

April 9, 2013 by Deanna Tousignant 27 Comments

I finally figured out why my emails have mysteriously been disappearing, part of the problem is me and part of the problem is with how Gmail works.

I only started using Gmail in the past few months. I’ve had a Gmail address for years, but in the past I forwarded everything to Outlook, resident on my desktop PC and did all my email stuff from there. This set up was great for having control over sorting and archiving, but I had problems with it not syncing up properly so when I moved to a new PC I also swapped over to using Gmail directly online.

Since swapping over I’ve been having all sorts of problems with disappearing emails. It’s been driving me mad. I’m certain I sent a reply to a particular brand rep, I go into my sent items and it’s not there. One of my blogger friends is asking for a referral for a tourist destination, I recall a conversation with a PR person I had a few weeks back but when I search through my emails I can’t find it. I finish a piece of work and go to reply to the associated email, but the email is missing.

This had been driving me completely batty. I have been at a total loss as to what the heck I could possible be doing wrong.

On more then one occasion I’ve walked into the computer room to find someone has been mashing on the keyboard. I worried that somehow my kids were inadvertently deleting mommy’s emails. I’ve tried to be conscious about closing the program when I’m not actively using it. However I’m forced to walk away from the computer mid-word so often (to answer the door, fill a juice cup, break up a dispute, etc, etc) that it’s difficult to close everything out first.

I also have an iPad which I let my pre-literate kids play on. Again I assumed they must be somehow deleting my emails by mistake. So I’ve been careful to the point of paranoia about closing the email program before handing the tablet over to the kids.

Last night I finally figured out what the real problem is. I finally figured out why my emails are getting mysteriously deleted, and it’s all part of how Gmail organizes email conversations into threads.

Here’s what’s happening. I get a two word reply back from a rep, something I don’t really need to keep, “Sounds good.” or “Thanks”. And I hit delete. Not fully understanding how Gmail is set up, I thought I was deleting just that one message. It turns out Gmail deletes EVERYTHING associated with that conversation, EVERYTHING in the thread. All of the previous emails from the rep, all of my previous replies. They are 100% gone into the trash. My outgoing emails from that conversation don’t even show up in the sent folder.  This is then compounded by fact that Gmail automatically permanently deletes any emails which have been sitting in the trash folder for 30 days. So on day 31 when I go back looking for my email it’s completely gone, “Poof”.

The answer is archive. I now know: Archive is your friend. Delete only pure spam and Facebook feed junk, archive everything else.

I’ve also been having problems where I send off an email and later discover the recipient never received it. At first I assumed my emails where ending up sorted into someone’s spam folder, and I’m sure that does happen sometimes, but you know what the real problem is? Several times now I’ve composed an email and somehow closed the browser window without actually hitting send. I *thought* I sent the darn thing out, but instead it was sitting in my drafts folder. I blame the constant distractions from my kids on this one, but truly this isn’t a problem with Gmail but a problem with ME.

Anyroad, I thought I’d share this with you all, in case I could help anyone else solve their own personal mystery of the disappearing emails.

Did everyone else out there already know not to delete anything EVER in Gmail?
Am I the only one who has been mucking this up?

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Filed Under: Blogging How-To, Tips, Tricks & Hacks Tagged With: computers, email, gmail

Comments

  1. Torviewtoronto says

    April 9, 2013 at 9:27 pm

    good information to know thank you for sharing this

    Reply
  2. Tammy inRdream says

    April 9, 2013 at 9:58 pm

    I personally am not very fond of gmail because of the threads. I have switched to outlook and forward all my emails there. I have lost so many in the pass due to the threads. AH!

    Reply
  3. Jennifer L. says

    April 10, 2013 at 1:15 pm

    I've had similar problems. I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one!

    Reply
  4. Brenda Penton says

    April 10, 2013 at 1:22 pm

    I've thankfully haven't had that problem, but I've accidentally deleted emails before in gmail 🙁 I wish gmail had a way to get old emails back like hotmail does.You can turn the conversation type grouping off in the Gmail settings under General.

    Reply
  5. Tammy says

    April 10, 2013 at 1:38 pm

    I like gmail, once you get used to a new email program.. I had the same issue with emails..

    Reply
  6. Vesper Meikle says

    April 10, 2013 at 4:13 pm

    I had the same problem until I went into my setting and turned off conversation groups – thank you husband

    Reply
  7. Deanna says

    April 10, 2013 at 6:38 pm

    My husband showed me the exact same setting last night! He saw this post and was like, "How the heck are you having a problem with Gmail? No one else I know deletes their emails by mistake!" and then he pointed out the very lovely conversation type grouping option, which I was ridiculously excited to learn of.

    Reply
  8. theresa says

    April 10, 2013 at 9:58 pm

    Gmail is smart, but it certainly does take some getting used to!

    Reply
  9. Unknown says

    December 18, 2013 at 8:40 am

    I was using live.com and it was so touchy I started using gmail as my primary, only to find emails disappearing right and left. Even sent tests to myself, moved them to a folder, then opened the folder and they were gone. Not in the trash, just gone. I've moved automatic confirmations received (for example) from my mortgage company, letting me know my scheduled payment hit their website OK–now I look in my folder and those auto replies are gone. They were not part of threads, but they are gone. live.com now seems to be working OK again after weeks of not working, so I may switch back. I don't trust either gmail or live right now. I also hate the thread thing and I understand deleting one email deletes all, but I am having things disappear that are one-shot emails and not threads with replies, so I don't know what is causing this.

    Reply
  10. Sheldon Leufkens says

    January 17, 2014 at 4:42 pm

    Thank you for this! It may very well be the answer I needed, but I have a more detailed question if anyone is reading my comment. My son is 9 and got a Chromebook from Santa. He has an e-mail address and since it's a Google-app based system he is using gmail proper. I want to keep an eye on his e-mail to make sure nothing inappropriate comes in so I set it up to get a copy of his e-mail to my Windows Live. I made sure that I clicked "leave on server" and "don't mark as read" and everything I possibly could. Not ONLY is his inbox emptying every day (and some of the threads aren't even in the trash…simply GONE) but they are also disappearing from my Live account!! Example…he asked a friend in another state who is a science fair project winner (went to DC because of it and got to meet Obama this year!). My son sent her an e-mail asking if she could help him with his science project. She wrote back with a long list of questions about biology/physics etc. etc. and he wrote back that he would like physics and something to do with cars. She said that she would research and get back to him within 3-4 days. I actually witnessed HER mails vanishing out of the inbox and I am positive that neither of us deleted that mail. There were some other junk mails in the inbox and by the next morning all of those were gone as well. Her mail is not in the trash and the only place that we can see the long e-mail is in the reply from my son as it is attached below. This is driving me nuts! I am happy to delete his e-mail account from my Live mail to see if that could possibly be the problem, but I don't see how?Any ideas would be GREATLY appreciated!

    Reply
  11. Anonymous says

    January 28, 2014 at 7:24 pm

    My problem with gmail is that the email will disappear from screen as in delete when I haven't highlited to delete or hit send!

    Reply
  12. Ria Swift says

    March 1, 2014 at 7:48 pm

    I am having another problem with Gmail and was hoping your post had figured it out. I can answer someone and go back to check on that first email and they are both gone…into the trash for some odd reason. If anyone knows how to stop this from happening please let me know. It's a real PIA. Gmail didn't always do that but it does now?????? TX

    Reply
  13. Unknown says

    March 19, 2014 at 2:03 pm

    A big thank you to you!!!! This had been driving me nuts!

    Reply
  14. Mikey10 says

    April 1, 2014 at 3:17 am

    Wow!!! I had no idea that so many people are experiencing email disappearances with Gmail like I have been the last 3 months or so. It is not thread related, I think Gmail/Google has been hacked. But they don't respond to my "help" requests. So, I guess I will have to change email servers or have all my email forwarded to a "handler" as some have done…BIG PROBLEM GOOGLE!!!

    Reply
  15. Catherine Young says

    June 1, 2014 at 5:59 pm

    Google needs to address this problem otherwise there will be a great loss of confidence in their system. I have also lost emails. There are some in a shared folder but not all. It seems random as to which emails have disappeared.They do not appear to be on the server but the file size (of my emails) is too large for the few messages that show in my inbox.What is going on?

    Reply
  16. Anonymous says

    February 12, 2015 at 9:27 pm

    Also gmail deletes stuff in your spam folder after 30 days, whether you've seen it or not. That's just wrong. Don't delete anything unless I say so, let's make that a rule. At least Yahoo doesn't hide or delete any mail but you must use basic setting instead of "full featured".

    Reply
    • Laura j. says

      February 20, 2018 at 1:29 pm

      what about when you get something in your spam box that isn’t spam? If I click that email and then click the “Not Spam” button, the email disappears and it REALLY disappears – it’s not in my Inbox, Trash, Saved, it’s just gone. What’s happening?

      Reply
      • Deanna Tousignant says

        February 22, 2018 at 11:19 am

        I’m not sure, Laura. Whenever I click “not spam” the email pops over to my inbox. I think it shows up chronologically, based on the original send date (and I don’t check my spam box that often), so sometimes it can get buried in my inbox and end up a page or two down, but it’s always there. Sorry I couldn’t be of help.

        Reply
  17. Gloria Snyder says

    February 8, 2016 at 3:59 pm

    You can turn off the threads. Eliminates some problems.

    Reply
  18. Unknown says

    May 9, 2016 at 12:54 pm

    I have the deleting email problem with Firefox or edge.!It has nothing to do with gmail deleting threads.If I delete all my NEW…UNREAD emails, it takes my entire inbox with it.!The only way I could retrieve them, was to sign into my account,….type:…"""anywhere""" into the search box and click on the Blue Search Button.!I found them at the end of 450 plus emails and restored them back to my inbox.!I don't believe this is just an Apple OS problem, as my windows machine has experienced this too.!

    Reply
  19. Scaramouche says

    July 19, 2017 at 4:42 am

    I had an issue that G-Mail all of a sudden removing an e-mail from inbox when I replied to it. It was in sent mail, but I could not send it back to inbox. Very annoying. I found on the web that there were now TWO reply “Send” buttons – one in blue with a plus sign, the other in white. I was clicking the blue one (as I always had done). In Settings, General, the option to “Hide Send and Archive Button in Reply” was checked, but it obviously wasn’t hiding it. So I checked the option to show it and saved the changes, then went back and checked the option to hide it, and saved the changes, and thankfully, the “Send and Archive” button no longer appears, and the “Send” button appears blue as it always had before. Bizarre or what?

    Reply
    • Deanna says

      July 19, 2017 at 7:19 pm

      That is SERIOUSLY weird. I’ve never run into anything like this.

      Reply
  20. Karen says

    December 13, 2017 at 8:52 am

    Have had this problem for a long time – even with the “conversation” option turned off.

    Regarding the spam folder, Gmail does not actually delete the spam messages within 30 days, it “shows” only the emails from the last 30 days. You have to actually delete the messages in the folder to delete all of them.

    I used to love Gmail, now I’m not sure.

    Reply
  21. Lynne says

    December 26, 2017 at 5:56 pm

    Well, thank you so much for this post as it was MUCH more useful than the official one from Gmail. Now I see that hiding that button means that you cannot accidentally make Gmail move your emails out of the inbox view. It would be much more helpful if Gmail would take a couple more words to explain things clearly rather than frustrating us into learning the Gmail language.

    Reply
  22. Byron Carrier says

    January 16, 2018 at 7:09 pm

    I have come to distrust and dislike Google for Gmail having suddenly started deleting whether I’ve replied to someone and what that reply was. I often need to remember or retrieve such info but Google, despite saving everything I’ve ever done and perhaps sharing that with the FBI or the NSA, making it difficult or impossible for me to get my own stuff back.

    I also resent them for having no Contact to contact, nor any sensible help file to clarify or correct this new inconvenient feature. Want an answer? Google it; but don’t expect Google to make that easy or reliable.

    Google might be researching eternal life, but they’re losing customers by neglecting to have a question box or suggestion box or any interface between their Giantness and our lowly, inept efforts to use what was once a simple and reliable system. Geek wizards rule while we’re left to figure out what they’re up to, why, and how to simply work it.

    Reply
  23. kay says

    March 26, 2018 at 6:03 am

    Random emails have been disappearing now and then in recent months. I read some, I replied some. Not associated with particular senders or receivers as other email from them are still found. I remember reading those emails, but I can’t find them now. I search in spam, bin, sent, inbox, draft, all folders, but nowhere to be found. If gmail is deleted after 30 days of deleting, they should be still somewhere within 30 days. But nowhere.

    Reply
    • Deanna Tousignant says

      March 27, 2018 at 9:15 pm

      Ugh. That must be so frustrating, Kay! I’m sorry I don’t have any helpful ideas on how to fix your issue. Best of luck. Let me know if you figure it out.

      Reply

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